Showing posts with label Ashford Anthology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ashford Anthology. Show all posts

Monday, November 28, 2011

I don't have a toaster or a Microwave. Start the Judging now!

And while we're at it, we only have the bottom 20 cable channels.

What does this all mean?

1. We don't reheat very much food--and let's be honest: how good are leftovers, anyway?


Yummy


2. Our TV sucks: our choices are Big Bang Theory or NCIS, Dr. Phil or People's Court. We use Netflix and ESPN3. Christina and I read lots of magazines and listen to NPR, which makes us better than everyone else, for the most part.


Why would you not watch Mark Harmon?

3. I make toast under the Broiler.

Toast me to your leader

4. Bottles get heated in hot water.



Skin test

5. I have counter space.



You should all try it.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Occupy Washington, Dummies.


I was going to do a satirical post that went something like this:

I'm sick and tired of the top 10% paying the vast majority of the income taxes in this country. We need equality! Heartless corporations are employing the vast majority of people in the US and paying health benefits and retirement out of some cool calculation that would incentivize people to stay employed at their corporation in lieu of going to another corporation. Shouldn't we strike a more balanced public/private approach? Families, (yes, even the gay spouses of gay people!) are given access to these benefits as well. Not like our government, thank goodness.

Then we bail out the largest banks due to the actions of just a few and they have the audacity to make money on the deal?

We save 10's of thousand of jobs through government action and support and it somehow costs us money that we need to get back?

Silly, right?

Then I read this from the Washington Post:




The nefarious scoundrels on Wall street have made more money under Obama than under George Bush. That didn't sound right to me. Then it hit me: Big business is a bad guy, right? Well their bankroll is sitting at opposite ends of Pennsylvania Avenue!

   Preparations for George W. Bush inauguration on Pennsylvania Avenue, view of Capitol building

Occupy Washington, Dummies! And we don't have to sleep in the rain to do it. It's called an election! You don't ensure your rights in a democracy by protesting and marching and petitioning and assembling: those activities are all protected by those that operate under the authority of the constitution. The real power comes from our responsibility to chose who is given that job.



Vote, Dummies. (Caution: Honest language ahead!)


Stupid People

To all of you moderate democrats (non tree-huggers or non enviro-nuts or non abortion-lovers or whatever the right wing nuts call you) go to the polls at primary time and vote against the wackos! Pick the guy or gal who actually understands economics and the cooperation between corporations (who are actually made of people) and the government (again, real people not fix-it-all super gods), has a stake alongside society and it's citizens, and would make a decision or two that benefits the country and not just the party. Please?


Stupid Rhetoric & Stupid People

You're not off the hook either, moderate Republicans. You need to do the same. There are millions of you out there that aren't the religious right or the social conservative, anti abortion, corporation loving,  racist ideologues that the left wing wackos like to parade in front of the cameras to get their NPR listening, MSNBC watching base all up in arms against. Lets speak truthfully: there's like 10 of those right wingers in existence, and for some odd reason they're the only ones that get on TV. The rest of you are normal people, and you have to speak up and let the non-crazy Democrats know this.


Silly at Best

Maybe if you go to the polls at primary time and send a normal candidate (one that doesn't tell you God divined that he be our senator or that the Bible tells us that corporations need 22% tax rates or that he knows best how we should teach or kids) then we may be able to get the country actually doing things again. Like promoting trade and industrial progress. Funding all research, not just the Pius type? And, yes, there are left wing nuts that like to tell us how to raise our families. They're stupid too. Sorry for the unequal treatment, Dummy.

Just plain Stupid

And don't give me a line about honest people don't run and you have to pull the party line to get nominated. That government is the answer when big business won't listen. Nobody's listening because we're all stayiong quiet where it matters. Seriously: the reason that this holds true is that us normal people don't speak up and send new, moderate, modest, good intentioned, big thinkers to the Capitol when we need to. It's time to Occupy Washington with normal people.






Traditional Non-Normal People. All Stupid.

Got it? It's time to Occupy Washington with normal people. Get the current crop of Dummies out of the joint and get back to serious business.

That is all.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Every New Parents' Favorite Game Show!


Check out the latest post on Ashford Anthology:  http://ashfordanthology.blogspot.com/2011/10/tonight-on-b.html

It's a Baby Game Show. You'll be surprised what our baby raising heroes are watching this week! And if you want to follow my fiction blog, you can do that as well. Robby would like that.



"Read my Daddy's Blogs", he says.

That's a serious look. You better do what he says. I'm just saying: what the baby wants, the baby gets. I don't make the rules around here. Just click on the link above and nobody has to deal with the consequences.


Such as Robby coming after you.

Or waiting around in your house on your carpet for you to return.



Or mooning you.


 
I warned you.
"Read my Daddy's Blogs", he says.
"Make it Happen", he says...






Saturday, October 8, 2011

Trending now on Ashford Living: Understanding Your Audience

Checking the recent traffic to Ashford Living, I noticed something.

Beyond the standard assumptions I can make from traffic sources, such as the fact that sending emails and RSS subscriptions will pull traffic to the site, and that the cuter the baby pictures the more traffic I get, there is the following:



Most of you come by facebook, people actually still use yahoo, and someone actually came to the site looking for guacamole turkey burgers! How deep in the google rankings did it take to get here from there? And the oyster bar thing is a mystery.

So, as a good marketer, I can only assume that people want more stories about guacamole and turkey burgers. That's Pork o Licious!