The Sound and the Furry

At first I didn't get this whole "new baby human" thing that my housemates were planning. I mean: what's the point of having a squishy, bouncy, crying little person in the house if he can't feed me or pet me or change the litter box? It's 2011 people, we have to think practically, right?

Then they brought him home and I realized what was really going on around here. He gets all the prime sunshine, he gets all the good lap spots, and he gets a special bed to sleep in at night.

Really? After 8  years of sharing my house with them this is how I get repaid? I spent nights sleeping on their pillows to keep their heads warm. In the fall I bring them as many mice as I can find for them to eat (I'm great with presents). In the mornings I remind them that the sun has come up and it's time to go to work--and at night I make sure they know it's time to feed me, so they know that they can eat as well.

I just don't see what it is they see in this new guy. "Robby" they keep saying. Is it the new smell he brings to the house? The noises he makes that keep me up at night? The constant eating?

It can't be much else. I mean he doesn't walk or talk (squirms and cries, though), he can't jump worth a darn or finish a can of Tuna for them when they leave it on the floor, and he hasn't brought them a single maimed squirrel to play with. Seriously? Who could ask for more than that? Maybe they think he's cuter than me? They seem to forget that I was pretty cute when I was his age.

I'm going to see what I can do about this. WeeOne's don't play second fiddle to just any little baby that fills a crib around this joint. He'll see...