And we're back! Hello everyone, I'm Colin Bellows and you're watching The B, the only channel created for young parents, by young parents. Wake up out there! It's only 7:30!
I'd like to welcome everyone back to tonight's addition of the latest and greatest investigational game show; but first: a special thanks to our sponsor--Diaper Dandy.
"Wrinkles? Red Spots? If you want the best looking kid on the block, be sure to use Diaper Dandy diaper cream: polishing tiny hineys for that just born look and feel! From Diapertron, a division of Toddletronics."
So, it's time to play the quiz show that has all the young parents reciting this catch phrase all day long:
Pooh or Fart!
That's right folks. The only show on cable television that asks you that age old diaper question. And until the good folks at Diapertron deliver the see through diaper bottom, we'll have to continue to guess based on only 3 of our five senses. And remember, as the stakes get higher, you'll need them!
Let's take a second to meet our contestants tonight:
From Cleveland, OH, meet the Jonsons!
They claim to have an uncanny sense of knowing when the change needs to occur, and with their 4 month old Livia churning through milk and mashed peas like a vacuum, they're likely to have the requisite experience to be today's big winner!
A round of applause, please.
And to their right, hailing from Newport, KS are the Goughs! A real down to earth couple whose 10 week old Billy has been giving them 6 to 8 chances a day to practice their size and consistency estimating skills.
And isn't that just adorable!
Good luck to you both!
So, Before the last commercial break we completed the sound round, and the Goughs are firmly in the lead with 4 points to the Jonson's 1. Now we're ready to begin the look and listen portion of tonight's contest. And as the leaders, the Goughs will be starting things off.
Is everyone ready? Then it's time to play:
Pooh or Fart!
Here's how it works: We'll show you a video of a small child whose bowels are giving him or her quite the bother. We'll follow this with a sound, similar to the first round, after which you'll have 10 seconds to determine whether that activity will require a new diaper. Basically, you now have two active clues to help you determine whether its a, Audience:
Pooh or Fart!
That's right.
So, Goughs, here's the first clip:
Very interesting. Very Interesting indeed. Lots of depth to that one, and a real contorted face on the little guy. His eyes closed and his forehead turned a bit red. There's the buzzer which means it's time...
And you're right! While it seemed so, your changing would be in vain!
So, with a successful go of it by the Goughs, we turn out attention to the Jonsons. You've heard the rules, so now it's your chance to pick up a precious point. Without delay, here's your clip:
That's a tough one. I couldn't here what happened, so your guess would be as good as mine. By the look on your faces you seem rather confident. Maybe you're thinking back to Livia's early days to see if you can make any comparisons...
And you're right! Look at that! There was little change to the child's demeanor, just the subtlest of sounds and WOW was that a cause for the Hazmat crew! Good instincts Johnsons!
So with that we have to take one more commercial break before we return for the penultimate 5 point final round in order to crown tonight's champion. And as you all know, we'll add a powerful new sense to the mix to aid these young parents: Smell!
Stay tuned Young parents, we'll be right back after a word from our sponsor: Pluggies
"When your little girl or boy
Is cranky, tired, or broke his toy.
Avoid a visit from your town crier
Try a Pluggies Sugared Pacifier!
Pluggies, a Toddletronics/DAPRA Venture"
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